If there is anything I dread more than anything in life, it is good-byes. I HATE good-byes. I have been this way since I was a small child and I don't think it will ever change. Well, as anyone knows being in the military, you have a lot of good-byes. You get to a base and you finally meet some great friends and then before you know it, they are off to PCS somewhere else. There are just two words for this: IT SUCKS. With this being said, I have come to learn some things in the 10 years I have been in the military life..
Moving is just a part of this life and with every move you meet quite an array of people, and some of these people turn out to be, well actually really good friends. I am talking people whom you never thought you would ever become friends with. These are the people who when you first arrived to base you could never see yourself meeting up with again, let alone being friends with. It's really crazy how that works. I think God looks at our first encounters with these people and looks at our reactions and laughs as He knows that we will most certainly meet up again with these people and become really good friends. He brings people into our lives for a reason, at least thats what I believe.
As everyone knows pilot training is over and now that this is over, everyone is off to start their new adventures.. its PCS season.. the season of good-byes. We had to watch two really good friends move away today and another really good friend is moving away in just under a couple of months, and then we will be moving in a few months and will have to leave some great people who we met here.. locals I will call them :) While we have only been here 19 months, we have met some amazing people, these people we will never forget, we will cherish the memories and the experiences as we all went through them together.. that's a special bond right there.. not many people understand the military lifestyle and the pilot training world. While some look at it as a negative thing (and I myself, am guilty of this sometimes) I like to look at it as a blessing. If it weren't for our military lifestyle, our paths would have never crossed, we would have never met some of these amazing individuals. It's a small Air Force world, maybe our paths will cross again some day, but if not I know I have nothing to fear or grieve over.. because the friends you meet in the military are friends for life. As anyone in the military or at least in pilot training here at CAFB knows.. its never good-bye, its.. SEEYA!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
Graduation, Road Tripping, and Mama's Day!
So much has happened since our last post. It's been a while since any posts I know. In my defense, we have been very very busy. Graduation, road tripping, school, all while making sure our 4 1/2 month old has his needs met!
Let me start off first with graduation. After a very long and difficult year of pilot training, Brenton received his wings on April 27! I am so proud of him! Pilot training isn't easy by itself, let alone dealing with a pregnant wife and having a baby in the middle of it all. Brenton started pilot training April of 2011 and right as he hit the flight line we found out we were expecting. I was pregnant the majority of pilot training, all except for the last 3 months.. and anyone who has or has had a baby knows those first three months are the hardest. With that being said, I would like to give another congrats to my amazing husband for surviving pilot training, his pregnant wife, and his newborn son! What an accomplishment :)
The day after graduation we decided to make the long road trip back 'home' to MO. (With this road trip Eli has now been to 6 states! And more road trips are to come soon. He is a great traveler, a perfect military child) It was nice to see family and friends and of course do some much needed shopping while we were back :) While we were there we made the 3 1/2 hour trip to Omaha. Now if anyone remembers, we did this same exact thing before we moved to MS. Just four months before we moved to MS we made a trip to MS to see where we would be moving... I somehow don't recommend doing that. While I am sure we will eventually come to love Nebraska just as we have Mississippi, I am not jumping for joy at the fact that we are moving there. I love how I won't have to drive an hour or more for some shopping, but I am going to miss my trees and beautiful scenery. Right now I look out at my backyard and I see a beautiful forest (just ignore the graveyard) when we move to Nebraska our backyard will consist of a field of old cornstalk carcasses. Ok enough complaining.. if I can learn to love Mississippi, I can surely learn to love the state of Nebraska. I just hate leaving the memories we made down here, but I know we can make new memories in Nebraska!
After our long road trip we were finally back home in MS and Mother's Day was approaching, my first Mother's Day! Once again, my husband was amazing and didn't disappoint. I was awoken from a nice peaceful sleep with Eli tugging at me and Brenton wishing me a happy Mother's Day. Eli was holding my card and so excited! He could barely hold onto the card he was kicking and flailing his arms so hard. It was a beautiful card and inside were Eli's handprints.. such a creative husband I have :) Later I was given my gift, a beautiful charm bracelet with charms that represent my journey into motherhood thus far. The day went on with a picnic, trip to the park where Eli got to swing with mama and daddy on real swings, and a relaxing walk. My first Mother's Day was perfect (all except for the evening, which was a nightmare.. more to come on that in later posts) There is nothing I love more than being a mom. I remember hoping and praying that I would some day have a child, and here I am with a beautiful 4 1/2 month old. I have gone through so much to have this sweet boy and bring him into this world. There is truly nothing that compares to being a mother, and I have learned there is truly nothing that prepares you for motherhood until you enter into it yourself. Last night Brenton and I were watching TV when a commercial came on, Johnson and Johnson I think it was.. it shows a new mom caring for her newborn.. newborn looks up at her and a voice in the background says "mom, I think now is a good time to tell you. You're doing okay, mom" I was only 5 seconds into that commercial when tears started falling. I think all moms need to hear that once in a while.. "you're doing okay". While it is uncertain at this point, we are praying that it is God's will for us to have more children in the future. What ever happens it's all in His hands and we accept and understand that there is a reason for everything. While we have had a lot of struggles, we thank God for them and the blessings that have came from each one. For now we will continue to thank Him for all of the blessing and opportunities, and for the amazing miracle he has already given us.
Eli and mama at the playground for the first time!
Eli and daddy swinging
Seriously?!
Let me start off first with graduation. After a very long and difficult year of pilot training, Brenton received his wings on April 27! I am so proud of him! Pilot training isn't easy by itself, let alone dealing with a pregnant wife and having a baby in the middle of it all. Brenton started pilot training April of 2011 and right as he hit the flight line we found out we were expecting. I was pregnant the majority of pilot training, all except for the last 3 months.. and anyone who has or has had a baby knows those first three months are the hardest. With that being said, I would like to give another congrats to my amazing husband for surviving pilot training, his pregnant wife, and his newborn son! What an accomplishment :)
Graduation banquet. First time out together without Eli
The day after graduation we decided to make the long road trip back 'home' to MO. (With this road trip Eli has now been to 6 states! And more road trips are to come soon. He is a great traveler, a perfect military child) It was nice to see family and friends and of course do some much needed shopping while we were back :) While we were there we made the 3 1/2 hour trip to Omaha. Now if anyone remembers, we did this same exact thing before we moved to MS. Just four months before we moved to MS we made a trip to MS to see where we would be moving... I somehow don't recommend doing that. While I am sure we will eventually come to love Nebraska just as we have Mississippi, I am not jumping for joy at the fact that we are moving there. I love how I won't have to drive an hour or more for some shopping, but I am going to miss my trees and beautiful scenery. Right now I look out at my backyard and I see a beautiful forest (just ignore the graveyard) when we move to Nebraska our backyard will consist of a field of old cornstalk carcasses. Ok enough complaining.. if I can learn to love Mississippi, I can surely learn to love the state of Nebraska. I just hate leaving the memories we made down here, but I know we can make new memories in Nebraska!
After our long road trip we were finally back home in MS and Mother's Day was approaching, my first Mother's Day! Once again, my husband was amazing and didn't disappoint. I was awoken from a nice peaceful sleep with Eli tugging at me and Brenton wishing me a happy Mother's Day. Eli was holding my card and so excited! He could barely hold onto the card he was kicking and flailing his arms so hard. It was a beautiful card and inside were Eli's handprints.. such a creative husband I have :) Later I was given my gift, a beautiful charm bracelet with charms that represent my journey into motherhood thus far. The day went on with a picnic, trip to the park where Eli got to swing with mama and daddy on real swings, and a relaxing walk. My first Mother's Day was perfect (all except for the evening, which was a nightmare.. more to come on that in later posts) There is nothing I love more than being a mom. I remember hoping and praying that I would some day have a child, and here I am with a beautiful 4 1/2 month old. I have gone through so much to have this sweet boy and bring him into this world. There is truly nothing that compares to being a mother, and I have learned there is truly nothing that prepares you for motherhood until you enter into it yourself. Last night Brenton and I were watching TV when a commercial came on, Johnson and Johnson I think it was.. it shows a new mom caring for her newborn.. newborn looks up at her and a voice in the background says "mom, I think now is a good time to tell you. You're doing okay, mom" I was only 5 seconds into that commercial when tears started falling. I think all moms need to hear that once in a while.. "you're doing okay". While it is uncertain at this point, we are praying that it is God's will for us to have more children in the future. What ever happens it's all in His hands and we accept and understand that there is a reason for everything. While we have had a lot of struggles, we thank God for them and the blessings that have came from each one. For now we will continue to thank Him for all of the blessing and opportunities, and for the amazing miracle he has already given us.
Eli and mama at the playground for the first time!
Eli and daddy swinging
Seriously?!
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Our New Adventure Awaits!
We are happy to announce that Brenton received his #1 choice for his assignment.. RC135s to Offutt! He is very excited as am I. While I don't like that his assignment is very dangerous, I am thrilled he gets to do what he wants to do. I am also overjoyed at the fact that we will be around shopping once again! After living down here in MS I actually did get used to it, but I can't tell you how excited I am that we will be just minutes away from many shopping areas and actual grocery stores.. oh and a Target.. a Super Target! I am also very excited for Eli. We will be just minutes away from an amazing zoo and there are tons of childrens' activities and things to do around there.. one of which is a hands on children's museum.. can't wait until Eli gets old enough for that! I am so glad that assignment night is over and we can finally relax on the topic of where we may be going.. now we just need to get dates and start house hunting.
Let's reverse a little bit and review how assignment night went.. as any UPT spouse knows, the weeks leading up to assignment night, not to mention the day of.. wears on a person's nerves. While Brenton had created his 'dream sheet' a week before, I still had made up my mind I was expecting nothing.. anything can happen. Many people were called up before Brenton.. one guy received C-5s to Dover (our #2) so I was like okay, well thats out. Then the next guy received RC 135s to Offutt (our # 1) and the guy after that received C 21s can't remember what base (our # 3) so I became very very nervous. I was thinking oh my.. where oh where are we ending up? This cannot be good. Please, please let it be in the US. While there can be more than one C 5, C 21, and RC 135 in a drop.. its not very common. I was on the edge of my seat at the point. As his name was finally called (which seemed like an eternity) I noticed his slide.. his slide read that he was from the "show me" state and that he was most likely to end up with more kids than the octomom and never deploy.. do I even need to comment on that? After he suffered through his roast, (which I did not really find comical) the big map came up on the slide... and a line went straight to Nebraska.. I about peed my pants! Brenton was beyond thrilled and actually picked me up and swung me around.. I wasn't expecting that either.. The night went on to be a very good night and the weekend to be a very good weekend. We had some family in town visiting Eli for the first time and were able to hang out and relax with some really great friends! A memorable weekend for sure.
Brenton so excited that he decided to pick me up and swing me around..
The Jones family will soon be moving to Omaha!
It has recently been brought to my attention by several people that I have not started my career yet. My reaction to these comments: thats fine by me and I am proud of that decision. I became a mom at the relatively young age of 22 by choice and for many reasons I am not getting into. As of right now, I enjoy my job title: I am a mama, wife, and student. I am proud of who I have become.. its not easy being a military wife, let alone finishing a degree and raising a child. With that being said, I do not regret one thing. In fact, God willing.. Brenton and I do plan on having more children in the future. I do plan on working (as childbirth education is my passion) but I also plan on staying home whenever time allows to be with Eli. My goal for him is to have the childhood I did not have growing up.. I am going to try my hardest to make sure that happens.. he deserves it so much. I know this is the life I signed up for, I don't need reminders.. again, I made this decision. I know I will have a husband who will be deployed frequently risking his life, I know sometimes it will seem like I am a single parent.. I have prepared myself for these things. I am not asking for sympathy, thats the last thing I want. If anything, I just want to be acknowledged in a positive way. The last thing I need is to be criticized and looked down upon with what I am doing and who I have become. I am proud of the mother God has shaped me to be, the hardworking and persevering student, and the loving wife that supports my husband 100%. This will never change, and I thank God for this life every day. I have my fair share of struggles and know that more lie ahead.. but with each new struggle I am learning more and more of who I am and who I really want to become in life.
Let's reverse a little bit and review how assignment night went.. as any UPT spouse knows, the weeks leading up to assignment night, not to mention the day of.. wears on a person's nerves. While Brenton had created his 'dream sheet' a week before, I still had made up my mind I was expecting nothing.. anything can happen. Many people were called up before Brenton.. one guy received C-5s to Dover (our #2) so I was like okay, well thats out. Then the next guy received RC 135s to Offutt (our # 1) and the guy after that received C 21s can't remember what base (our # 3) so I became very very nervous. I was thinking oh my.. where oh where are we ending up? This cannot be good. Please, please let it be in the US. While there can be more than one C 5, C 21, and RC 135 in a drop.. its not very common. I was on the edge of my seat at the point. As his name was finally called (which seemed like an eternity) I noticed his slide.. his slide read that he was from the "show me" state and that he was most likely to end up with more kids than the octomom and never deploy.. do I even need to comment on that? After he suffered through his roast, (which I did not really find comical) the big map came up on the slide... and a line went straight to Nebraska.. I about peed my pants! Brenton was beyond thrilled and actually picked me up and swung me around.. I wasn't expecting that either.. The night went on to be a very good night and the weekend to be a very good weekend. We had some family in town visiting Eli for the first time and were able to hang out and relax with some really great friends! A memorable weekend for sure.
The Jones family will soon be moving to Omaha!
It has recently been brought to my attention by several people that I have not started my career yet. My reaction to these comments: thats fine by me and I am proud of that decision. I became a mom at the relatively young age of 22 by choice and for many reasons I am not getting into. As of right now, I enjoy my job title: I am a mama, wife, and student. I am proud of who I have become.. its not easy being a military wife, let alone finishing a degree and raising a child. With that being said, I do not regret one thing. In fact, God willing.. Brenton and I do plan on having more children in the future. I do plan on working (as childbirth education is my passion) but I also plan on staying home whenever time allows to be with Eli. My goal for him is to have the childhood I did not have growing up.. I am going to try my hardest to make sure that happens.. he deserves it so much. I know this is the life I signed up for, I don't need reminders.. again, I made this decision. I know I will have a husband who will be deployed frequently risking his life, I know sometimes it will seem like I am a single parent.. I have prepared myself for these things. I am not asking for sympathy, thats the last thing I want. If anything, I just want to be acknowledged in a positive way. The last thing I need is to be criticized and looked down upon with what I am doing and who I have become. I am proud of the mother God has shaped me to be, the hardworking and persevering student, and the loving wife that supports my husband 100%. This will never change, and I thank God for this life every day. I have my fair share of struggles and know that more lie ahead.. but with each new struggle I am learning more and more of who I am and who I really want to become in life.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Eli's First Easter/Upcoming Events
We hope everyone had a great Easter, we sure did! Easter is a very important holiday to Brenton and I, and while we do enjoy giving one another candy to celebrate, we also know the real reason behind Easter and feel very strongly in teaching our children the real reason we celebrate. To do this, we of course went to church (Eli is in a stage right now where he loves church, he loves the singing and tries to sing along. Its cute, I am just enjoying it while it lasts!) Another way we do this is by Resurrection Eggs. For anyone that doesn't know what these are: Resurrection Eggs are plastic eggs that hold some object with a scripture that helps tell the Easter story) I decided to make the Resurrection Eggs for Eli this year even though I know he had no idea what I was talking about or trying to convey to him. I thought it would be a great idea to make them for his first Easter, and then make it a tradition to get them out every Easter afterwards. As he gets a little older I think he will start to catch on, not only will it make a great family tradition, but a nice family keepsake for years down the road.
Other ways we celebrated yesterday included coming home after church and having a yummy brunch (Thank you pinterest for the idea, and thank you to my lovely crock pot!) Afterwards we spent the rest of the day with friends and ended the evening with giving Eli his Easter basket. Inside there was: said Resurrection Eggs, a 'grow with me sippy' and a stuffed bunny. Not a whole lot, but does a 3 month old really need a lot of items in his Easter basket? I don't think so. While Eli could care less about the eggs (although he did sit still and look at me when I was explaining them to him ) he was quite interested in his stuffed bunny. In fact, he was so interested in it that he threw a fit when I took it away from him to look at his sippy cup.. after a bit he calmed down and became interested in said sippy cup.. success!
Overall, we had a wonderful day and made great memories :) It's hard to believe that next Easter we will have a 15 month old running around and talking.. scary but exciting thought! Below you can find Eli discovering the contents of his Easter basket..
Our first Easter as a family!
Loved the bunny!
Okay mama, I guess the sippy is kinda cool..
Give me back my bunny!
As mentioned several times previously.. we will soon be finding out where we will be moving to and what plane Brenton will be flying!! FOUR more days! Can't wait to make that blog post :) So many things are happening.. could be a lot of exciting news to come in upcoming posts.. stay tuned! Until next time.. take care and God bless!
Other ways we celebrated yesterday included coming home after church and having a yummy brunch (Thank you pinterest for the idea, and thank you to my lovely crock pot!) Afterwards we spent the rest of the day with friends and ended the evening with giving Eli his Easter basket. Inside there was: said Resurrection Eggs, a 'grow with me sippy' and a stuffed bunny. Not a whole lot, but does a 3 month old really need a lot of items in his Easter basket? I don't think so. While Eli could care less about the eggs (although he did sit still and look at me when I was explaining them to him ) he was quite interested in his stuffed bunny. In fact, he was so interested in it that he threw a fit when I took it away from him to look at his sippy cup.. after a bit he calmed down and became interested in said sippy cup.. success!
Overall, we had a wonderful day and made great memories :) It's hard to believe that next Easter we will have a 15 month old running around and talking.. scary but exciting thought! Below you can find Eli discovering the contents of his Easter basket..
As mentioned several times previously.. we will soon be finding out where we will be moving to and what plane Brenton will be flying!! FOUR more days! Can't wait to make that blog post :) So many things are happening.. could be a lot of exciting news to come in upcoming posts.. stay tuned! Until next time.. take care and God bless!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
What A Journey it Has Been!
Oh what a journey it has been! Is pilot training really almost over? Do we really have an almost 3 month old?? Crazy! It is hard to believe in just two short weeks we will find out what plane Brenton will be flying for his career and where we may be heading to next!
That last part really makes me feel uneasy. I know for the longest time all I ever did was complain about living in MS and how I hated it. (In fact, I think about every single post in this blog has a complaint about the state somewhere.) But let me tell you, MS is really where I started LIVING life. We learned a lot about ourselves as well as one another. Never ever did I think I would be saying that, but its true. It has been a rollercoaster in the short year and a half we have lived here. We lost a baby, we overcame infertility, we welcomed out first baby into our lives, made lifelong friends along the way that have helped us in our greatest times of need and we have helped them, and now we are about to finish what is probably one of life's greatest accomplishments: pilot training.
It makes me very sad this journey is coming to an end and I really don't want to leave the world of UPT (although Brenton probably strongly disagrees with me) but I know where ever we end up next will be just as good as our beginning journey in good ole MS. I may not understand at first just what our purpose may be in the next location, but I know God will show me in time just what that purpose is, just as he showed me his purpose for the journey we have had down here.
We have made some amazing memories down here and I will cherish those forever. Now I can't wait to move on and see what memories we make in our next journey!
April 13 is the day we find out the plane and location. We will be sure to let everyone know.
Quick Update on Eli!
First off, I can't believe he will be 3 months old next weekend! He is doing so well and growing and learning more and more each day. His favorite activity would have to be going on walks and doing anything outside. He experienced his first sunburn a few days ago from being outside.. for only 30 minutes! It wasn't too awfully bad, he now has some tan lines around his eyes from his sunglasses to start the summer off :) He also likes to lay in my lap and kick Occie. This really isn't anything unusual as when he was still in the womb Occie would be laying beside me and Eli would kick him.. not much has changed! I recently bought him an infant pool floatie for the summer, I cannot wait until I take him swimming, I think he is going to love it!
That is all to report for now, until next time.. take care and God bless!
That last part really makes me feel uneasy. I know for the longest time all I ever did was complain about living in MS and how I hated it. (In fact, I think about every single post in this blog has a complaint about the state somewhere.) But let me tell you, MS is really where I started LIVING life. We learned a lot about ourselves as well as one another. Never ever did I think I would be saying that, but its true. It has been a rollercoaster in the short year and a half we have lived here. We lost a baby, we overcame infertility, we welcomed out first baby into our lives, made lifelong friends along the way that have helped us in our greatest times of need and we have helped them, and now we are about to finish what is probably one of life's greatest accomplishments: pilot training.
It makes me very sad this journey is coming to an end and I really don't want to leave the world of UPT (although Brenton probably strongly disagrees with me) but I know where ever we end up next will be just as good as our beginning journey in good ole MS. I may not understand at first just what our purpose may be in the next location, but I know God will show me in time just what that purpose is, just as he showed me his purpose for the journey we have had down here.
We have made some amazing memories down here and I will cherish those forever. Now I can't wait to move on and see what memories we make in our next journey!
April 13 is the day we find out the plane and location. We will be sure to let everyone know.
Quick Update on Eli!
First off, I can't believe he will be 3 months old next weekend! He is doing so well and growing and learning more and more each day. His favorite activity would have to be going on walks and doing anything outside. He experienced his first sunburn a few days ago from being outside.. for only 30 minutes! It wasn't too awfully bad, he now has some tan lines around his eyes from his sunglasses to start the summer off :) He also likes to lay in my lap and kick Occie. This really isn't anything unusual as when he was still in the womb Occie would be laying beside me and Eli would kick him.. not much has changed! I recently bought him an infant pool floatie for the summer, I cannot wait until I take him swimming, I think he is going to love it!
That is all to report for now, until next time.. take care and God bless!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Becoming A Mother
Becoming a mother is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, but also one of the hardest. I am writing this post not only for myself, but also for all new mothers that struggle in the beginning.
I thought for sure after my baby boy was born, I would be the happiest person on the planet.. nothing would get me down.. let me tell you friends, that just isn't always the case and unfortunately this is not something they teach you in "What to Expect When You Are Expecting" While I was so in love with my little miracle, hormones were raging and I just felt completely different.. inside and out. The little boy who I longed for what seemed like forever to get here safely was finally here and healthy and in my arms.. while I felt incredibly thankful and blessed, I was feeling other feelings too.. sad feelings, he was no longer nestled warm and cozy in the womb, I was no longer feeling all of his little kicks and movements, the ginormous belly that I had learned to live with was no longer a part of my body.. I didn't know what to feel.. here I was no longer pregnant but I was also far from the old Darcie that I once was. I didn't feel like myself and nothing seemed normal.. and sleep, yeah you can forget that. Sleep was a thing of the past. My life had been completely turned upside down.. I didn't know what to think, do, or expect anymore. While I felt like a terrible mother for feeling such things, I learned that it is okay and just because I felt overwhelmed, sad, and clueless on what I was doing.. I was normal and my love for my precious baby boy is endless and will never change..
Just recently I had a friend send me a link to a blog post about motherhood and advice for when "you want to just quit motherhood" While I related to the whole post, one quote really got to me "being at someone else's literal beck and call will lay you low. It will rob you a sense of self that will take time and tears to rediscover in this new identity of mother. Give yourself grace to realize that and mourn the loss of who you were, before you begin to embrace the who you are becoming" That is really so very true. Most days are spent in my pajamas or in a T-shirt and sweats, make up is no longer a part of my routine, nor is doing my hair.. pony tail it is. Finding time to eat or really do anything can be a challenge, except for nap time. While it still makes me sad to realize that I am not the person who I once was, I am learning to accept it and find joy in it. I am happy to say that things are going a lot smoother and while I still have my days.. a sense of normalcy has been established. Sleepless nights are still pretty common, but getting up with my baby boy and comforting him and rocking him back to sleep is priceless. While there are some days where I am completely exhausted both physically and mentally, I remember these are the days I will never get back.. and learn to appreciate every little thing, just as I am learning to embrace the new person I am becoming and who I have always wanted to become.. a mother.
I thought for sure after my baby boy was born, I would be the happiest person on the planet.. nothing would get me down.. let me tell you friends, that just isn't always the case and unfortunately this is not something they teach you in "What to Expect When You Are Expecting" While I was so in love with my little miracle, hormones were raging and I just felt completely different.. inside and out. The little boy who I longed for what seemed like forever to get here safely was finally here and healthy and in my arms.. while I felt incredibly thankful and blessed, I was feeling other feelings too.. sad feelings, he was no longer nestled warm and cozy in the womb, I was no longer feeling all of his little kicks and movements, the ginormous belly that I had learned to live with was no longer a part of my body.. I didn't know what to feel.. here I was no longer pregnant but I was also far from the old Darcie that I once was. I didn't feel like myself and nothing seemed normal.. and sleep, yeah you can forget that. Sleep was a thing of the past. My life had been completely turned upside down.. I didn't know what to think, do, or expect anymore. While I felt like a terrible mother for feeling such things, I learned that it is okay and just because I felt overwhelmed, sad, and clueless on what I was doing.. I was normal and my love for my precious baby boy is endless and will never change..
Just recently I had a friend send me a link to a blog post about motherhood and advice for when "you want to just quit motherhood" While I related to the whole post, one quote really got to me "being at someone else's literal beck and call will lay you low. It will rob you a sense of self that will take time and tears to rediscover in this new identity of mother. Give yourself grace to realize that and mourn the loss of who you were, before you begin to embrace the who you are becoming" That is really so very true. Most days are spent in my pajamas or in a T-shirt and sweats, make up is no longer a part of my routine, nor is doing my hair.. pony tail it is. Finding time to eat or really do anything can be a challenge, except for nap time. While it still makes me sad to realize that I am not the person who I once was, I am learning to accept it and find joy in it. I am happy to say that things are going a lot smoother and while I still have my days.. a sense of normalcy has been established. Sleepless nights are still pretty common, but getting up with my baby boy and comforting him and rocking him back to sleep is priceless. While there are some days where I am completely exhausted both physically and mentally, I remember these are the days I will never get back.. and learn to appreciate every little thing, just as I am learning to embrace the new person I am becoming and who I have always wanted to become.. a mother.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Eli Glenn Jones is Here! Birth Story!
Brenton and I are proud to announce that our precious baby boy was born on January 7, 2012 at 2:56 pm. He was 6 lbs 15 oz and 21 in. long. He came exactly 2 weeks before his due date (38 weeks) I don't know if any of you are like me, but I love to hear peoples' birth stories! So here it goes..
I woke up that Friday (January 6) not feeling well at all. I was having a lot of inconsistent contractions and feeling very nauseous. I honestly thought I was getting a stomach virus of some kind. Around two that afternoon I became very tired and took a nap. I awoke feeling like I had a ton of energy! I started some loads of laundry, finished up my last paper for one of my classes, and went to the commissary to get stuff to make dinner. I made a yummy dinner of lasagna and found that no matter how hard I tried I just could not get myself to eat all of my dinner. This was very odd for me.. but I really didn't think anything of it. Right after dinner we went over to our friends' house for game night. We had a lot of fun and finished up game night around 12:15-ish. We get home, its late and we are both exhausted. I will never forget Brenton's words to me as we pull in the drive-way "please do not have Eli tonight Darcie, I am exhausted." Brenton goes upstairs to get ready for bed and I go to the bathroom.. well it was then that I knew something was happening. I walk upstairs very calmly and tell Brenton that I think this baby is coming soon. Brenton is in the middle of brushing his teeth and just kind of stood there looking at me.. we immediately start trying to get everything together and called labor and delivery to see when we should come in. We had planned on laboring at home for as long as possible. Well due to some unfortunate circumstances, they told us to come in asap as things were happening that were indicative of a problem with the placenta. So in the car we go, 12:30 am Brenton is dodging the deer on the way to the hospital as my contractions get stronger and come closer and closer together.. We arrive at the hospital and immediately get hooked up to the monitors to make sure Eli was okay.. and they checked me to see what was going on. Nurse said I was indeed in labor with contractions coming every 2 mins and a problem with the placenta meant I would more than likely have to have a c-section. Thankfully, there was no problem with the placenta! We ended up walking the halls to progress labor as we were pretty set on not having any meds to augment labor or meds of any kind for that matter. We labored all night long, doctor comes in and before checking me he says if I wanted to I could go back home and labor at home like I wanted to.. he checks me and then took back his statement saying that I was about 5 cm and wouldn't be going anywhere. (We delivered at a hospital about 35-40 min away) I was still having the same consistent contractions. Not too long after that, water broke and things really started happening. The contractions became unbearable, so painful it was literally making me sick. I now understand why some women throw up during labor. I told Brenton I wanted the epidural that I couldn't do this any longer. He tried to coax me into going a bit longer, if I could make it 10 1/2 hours without one I could surely make it the rest of the way.. that didn't work. In my mind, I felt like I was going to be in labor feeling those contractions for days. I became very angry and demanded he go find the dr and have him give me the epidural. 10 minutes later epidural was in! 3 hours later.. Eli Glenn Jones was born! Not a bad labor overall: 14 1/2 hours and only about 25 minutes of pushing!
I woke up that Friday (January 6) not feeling well at all. I was having a lot of inconsistent contractions and feeling very nauseous. I honestly thought I was getting a stomach virus of some kind. Around two that afternoon I became very tired and took a nap. I awoke feeling like I had a ton of energy! I started some loads of laundry, finished up my last paper for one of my classes, and went to the commissary to get stuff to make dinner. I made a yummy dinner of lasagna and found that no matter how hard I tried I just could not get myself to eat all of my dinner. This was very odd for me.. but I really didn't think anything of it. Right after dinner we went over to our friends' house for game night. We had a lot of fun and finished up game night around 12:15-ish. We get home, its late and we are both exhausted. I will never forget Brenton's words to me as we pull in the drive-way "please do not have Eli tonight Darcie, I am exhausted." Brenton goes upstairs to get ready for bed and I go to the bathroom.. well it was then that I knew something was happening. I walk upstairs very calmly and tell Brenton that I think this baby is coming soon. Brenton is in the middle of brushing his teeth and just kind of stood there looking at me.. we immediately start trying to get everything together and called labor and delivery to see when we should come in. We had planned on laboring at home for as long as possible. Well due to some unfortunate circumstances, they told us to come in asap as things were happening that were indicative of a problem with the placenta. So in the car we go, 12:30 am Brenton is dodging the deer on the way to the hospital as my contractions get stronger and come closer and closer together.. We arrive at the hospital and immediately get hooked up to the monitors to make sure Eli was okay.. and they checked me to see what was going on. Nurse said I was indeed in labor with contractions coming every 2 mins and a problem with the placenta meant I would more than likely have to have a c-section. Thankfully, there was no problem with the placenta! We ended up walking the halls to progress labor as we were pretty set on not having any meds to augment labor or meds of any kind for that matter. We labored all night long, doctor comes in and before checking me he says if I wanted to I could go back home and labor at home like I wanted to.. he checks me and then took back his statement saying that I was about 5 cm and wouldn't be going anywhere. (We delivered at a hospital about 35-40 min away) I was still having the same consistent contractions. Not too long after that, water broke and things really started happening. The contractions became unbearable, so painful it was literally making me sick. I now understand why some women throw up during labor. I told Brenton I wanted the epidural that I couldn't do this any longer. He tried to coax me into going a bit longer, if I could make it 10 1/2 hours without one I could surely make it the rest of the way.. that didn't work. In my mind, I felt like I was going to be in labor feeling those contractions for days. I became very angry and demanded he go find the dr and have him give me the epidural. 10 minutes later epidural was in! 3 hours later.. Eli Glenn Jones was born! Not a bad labor overall: 14 1/2 hours and only about 25 minutes of pushing!
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