It's been forever and a day since I've last posted. So so much is happening and has happened, I don't really even know where to begin. I guess it would be easiest to post updates by months, so let's start with April.
April: We celebrated K's 1st Easter, mama's birthday, and mama started working diligently on a fundraiser she decided to set up in Omaha to raise awareness for perinatal/postpartum mood disorders. Okay, now I'll stop typing in 3rd person ;) Considering everything we had going on, I might have been just a little crazy to take the fundraiser on, but I'm so glad I did. I have had several people message me to tell me that after seeing me tell my story on the news, it helped them, either by going back and processing their own postpartum experience, helping them with postpartum issues at the present time, or helping a family member with postpartum issues to get help. I'm so so glad I decided to go ahead with the fundraiser and move forward with it, even if I would have just helped one person, it would have been worth it.
May: K turned ONE!! Yes, my sweet surprise baby K who came into this world as fast as lightning, is now one.. I cannot believe it, his whole first year was just a blur it seems like. We celebrated by having a party here at home with family, Red, White, and ONE! It was so much fun :)
June: This was a hard month, a very hard month. Eli was diagnosed with non-verbal ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and two other disorders. We started the search for different therapies for him, we learned so much about so many things in just a short amount of time, things which we never would think we would ever have to worry about. A few days after Eli's diagnoses, B and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. It was nice to look back to see how far we have come, reminisce about the days before kids, and talk about the future together. Oh and did I mention that Mr. Romance (yes, my husband) took me for a carriage ride in downtown Omaha and along the MO River? He is still just as sweet and romantic as he was when we first met 8 years ago! We had a great time celebrating, it was nice to not talk autism and therapies for a night. Soon, too soon, it was time for another deployment. B was able to see Eli's 1st speech therapy session, which was great, but we all had to say our 'see ya laters' the next day.
July: so here we are in July.. I saw someone post about Christmas being 6 months away and I might have slapped them in the face.. In my mind that is. I don't even want to think about winter, the boys and I are really enjoying outside time and fun at the park and in the water! Oh and I am loving mowing the lawn, call me crazy, but I love the smell and the look of a freshly mowed lawn. Mowing is part of my 'happy time' the other parts of that are outside yoga and eating cookies while I watch Netflix at night... It's great times! Anyways, for the past week I have had our niece up here visiting, the boys and I picked her up at the beginning of the month and we have had a great time, well as much as we can with all the therapy and dr appts.
That pretty much sums up our family update. Wait! No, no it's not. B pinned on Captain a couple weeks ago, so that was an accomplishment we were really proud of!
So, I'm serious this time, that's our family update. I have so many that have asked me how I'm doing lately, my response is always 'I'm okay'. I would be lying if I said I was fine, I'm still trying to process everything with Eli, trying to get him to all of his therapy and make phone calls to try to get into more, still make sure K is taken care of and not left out, and trying my hardest to take care of myself and my recent health needs. Most days I am trying to my hardest to console Eli, try to distract K from Eli's tantrums, and think to myself.. I just can't do this anymore. I know we have all had those thoughts, our breaking points, my hope is that with lots of therapy, I will learn techniques to calm him and stop some of the tantrums.. at least the ones where he screams and screams and tries to climb me like a tree. Perhaps I should get him a little play tree for the playroom.. I am joking... but seriously, I'm learning more and more every day, it's not about the struggles or hard times, it's how we handle them.. That's what matters. I think I'm still in a shock phase with Eli, he was our perfect miracle baby after months and months of trying to get pregnant, losing one baby, and then going through fertility treatments, we were finally pregnant with him. Life was great and couldn't get any better. B and I have both said on several occasions, I could never handle a child with special needs, I just wouldn't be able to do it. We had no idea, we would some day be walking down that road, we would be 'those' parents. Eli was perfectly healthy at birth and was always a little behind in milestones, but I wasn't worried. Around 12 months, peds started to really wonder about autism.. Again I thought he was just fine, a little behind. Well, obviously that wasn't the case. I'm going to speak for B when I say this, but I think he would agree: we are very thankful he is starting some therapies, that there's a big autism support here in Omaha, and that he doesn't have some terminal illness; but we are still grieving the fact that Eli will not be a 'normal' child.. I hate using that word, I can't really explain it, when we first brought him home from the hospital, like all parents, we had hopes and dreams for him. We still have hopes and dreams of course, but a lot of things change, and that's hard to accept. So we are still working on that.
Okay, enough about all of that. For now, we are enjoying and cherishing the good days and fighting the hard ones as best as we can. The boys get to see daddy via FT and that's always fun and brightens their day, and mine :) For now, we are taking it one day at a time.. Doing the best we can. We pray daily for Eli, for K and how this will affect him, and of course for B's safety and a safe return home. We have faith and hope that all will be back to 'normal' or we start a new 'normal' again soon.
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