Today marks 3 years since the birth of our first child. I remember praying and praying for two pink lines, I wanted to be a mama so bad! When the day finally came, and my husband and I held this precious gift from God, my thoughts were that life couldn't get any better. I remember bringing him home and not knowing what to do with him, I remember asking my husband "so, now what?" Haha, it's the truth! A few months went by and I started getting the hang of it all, at least I thought so 😉 Before we knew it, we were about to be celebrating his first birthday. I recall tears streaming down my face as I put my baby boy to bed on the eve of his first birthday, telling myself he will never be one ever again. Now I was about 20 weeks along in my pregnancy with his brother at this time, so I'm sure hormones played a role, but birthdays are just so bittersweet for me and are a great reminder to try and cherish all the days we can with our littles.
I find it especially bittersweet as each year goes by, as Eli gets a little older, his age no longer masks his Autism, he still cannot look at me and say "Hi" let alone "Hi mom" he can't tell us he loves us, he can't tell us anything. He doesn't even understand that today is his birthday, he does however LOVE the fact he gets cake, extra IPad time, and the day off from his therapies. His first year of life was very exciting for him as he gained a baby brother, his second year of life was very memorable as he received his diagnoses, I'm hoping his third year brings about a lot of improvement and progress with his therapies, and I'm praying this is the year he will begin to actually speak, I'm hoping I'll hear him say "hi mom!" As I said good night to him last night, I thought about this past year and everything, not just we, but he, had been through. He continues to amaze me every single day, while he can't speak to us, he does give us hugs and other little gestures to let us know he loves us. He enjoys the little things in life, I can't imagine how frustrating it is to not be able to talk, to tell someone how you feel, yet he still walks around every day with a smile on his face. When I prayed for a baby, I had no idea just how wonderful and precious of a gift that baby would be, he has changed my life in so many ways, but most importantly, he has taught me how to be a mother and shown me that love really needs no words. This little guy has really taught me so many things about myself I would have never known if not for him coming into our lives.
Happy birthday precious one, you have touched and continue to touch our lives more than you could ever know. We love you!
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